Be a Better Leader with Discovery Conversations

Be a Better Leader with Discovery Conversations Be a Better Leader with Discovery Conversations Be a Better Leader with Discovery Conversations Jennings, author of The High-Speed Company: Creating Urgency and Growth in a Nanosecond Culture (Portfolio/Penguin, 2015) My boyhood best pal Kenny Foster and I used to spend countless hours in an empty upstairs room in his house on Newberry Avenue, building almost-large-aslife cardboard mock-ups of the boat we were going to use to explore the world and discover new things. I bet you and your friends did something similar (theres a bit of the explorer in all of us). The most satisfying explorations youll ever conduct are what I refer to as discovery meetings. Here youll get to hear and learn peoples stories and in the process learn how to lead them to the achievement of their goals and ambitions. (Please note that Id never actually use the phrase discovery meeting with someone I was about to meet, and I wouldnt advise you to use the phrase either. Rather, its the frame of mind youre putting yourself into before the interaction.) In addition to taking what youve already read to heart, consider the following suggestions that tap discovery to better communicate in your company. Check Yourself The discovery conversation isnt a rote flight checklist youre making your way through. If someone isnt genuinely interested in learning about another person and doesnt want to have the conversation for the right reasons his or her lack of sincerity and authenticity will be immediately telegraphed. This is a tough one for leaders; you may not like the person or may be so stressed that you dont have the interest or energy to really connect. But beware: People have really good BS meters. Dont try to fake sincerity. If you cant bring your head and your heart to the discovery conversation, youre better off postponing or getting someone to help. Timing and Setting Is Everything Dont try to have a discovery conversation in an office or cube without privacy. Open doors, constant interruptions, devices ringing and pinging, and people poking in for a quick response to a question isnt conducive to the flow youre trying to achieve. Comfortable, neutral seating is vitally important. If the boss is sitting behind his desk and the worker is in a guest chair in front of the desk, communication will be staged and stifled. I suggest getting out of the workplace altogether whenever possible. Be Vulnerable Because complete honesty and authenticity are so rare, a display of both is generally disarming. Most people will at least temporarily suspend any sense of disbelief when you approach them with the following: Carol, I think Id be able to be a better leader and help you get to where you want to go if I knew a little more about you and learned where you want to go and want you want to achieve in life. Can we spend some time talking about you? In this case the two parties have both just made themselves a little vulnerable, the boss by saying shed like to be a better leader and the employee by agreeing to the conversation. Remember, Its Not About You As youre asking questions, curb the urge to talk about you. At a minimum the conversation should be 90 percent the other person and 10 percent or less you. Remind yourself, I can talk about me another time. Todays my chance to learn about someone else. Silences Are Golden Be prepared to encounter and deal with natural pauses in the discovery conversation. The moment theres a pause, most people have a tendency to jump in and keep things moving. Early in my career a radio and television news producer told me, Once youve asked a question and the person youre interviewing has answered the question, dont say another word. Let there be a pause and almost always the next words spoken by the person youre interviewing will be the best material. And Then . . . Some of my best daylong interviews with CEOs and company owners have required asking only three questions: Tell me the story of the company through your eyes Tell me your story Whats keeping you awake at night these days about your business? The only other words Ive had to use to keep the conversation going were And then . . . , What happened next? Aha, thats fascinating, and Whats likely to happen if you do or dont do that? Repeat What Youve Heard When you hear something thats potentially important, use a small gesture to pause the conversation and say, I want to make certain I understood what you just said. Did I hear correctly that ____? When you repeat information, youll stand a better job of remembering it. No Notes, Please I still remember everything Ive ever heard during all of my discovery meetings and there have been many thousands of them. If you are genuinely interested, listen intently, and hang on to the edge of your seat waiting for the next part of the story, you dont need any notes and youll remember everything you hear for the rest of your life. This isnt an interview . . . but thats what it will turn out to be if the other person sees you taking notes. Be a Dream Catcher Leaders shouldnt be afraid to use the word dream in their conversations. Everyone, no matter how superficially cynical he or she may be, has dreams. The only question is whether the person youre listening to trusts you enough to share them. Ask questions like: What would your dream job look like? Where do you dream about ending up in your career? What would a dream assignment be? These are great ways to get people to reveal themselves. Tie Their Goals to Yours When people share their dreams and what they want to accomplish in their careers with their leader or manager, they provide her with everything she needs to know to be able to communicate downward with them more effectively. Excerpted from The High-Speed Company: Creating Urgency and Growth in a Nanosecond Culture (Portfolio/Penguin, 2015) by Jason Jennings by arrangement with Portfolio, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc., Copyright (c) Jason Jennings, 2015. Author Bio: Jason Jennings is the bestselling author of THE REINVENTORS; Its Not the Big That Eat the Small Its the Fast That Eat the Slow; Less Is More; Think Big, Act Small; and Hit the Ground Running. USA Today named him one of the three most in-demand business speakers in the world. Read more insights from author Jason Jennings: How to Hire Engaged Workers and Lifelong Learners How Extraordinary Companies Pursue Radical Continuous Change